One of the many reasons why it might be so hard for you to lose weight is that you may perceive fat as a protection and are afraid to let go of your fat. You do not feel safe without it. You believe that fat protects you from dangers, unwanted attention, abuse, heartbreaks, relationships, poor health, sickness, and even starvation. These distorted beliefs significantly affect your weight loss.

Protection from Dangers, Unwanted Attention, and Abuse

Because of the constant reporting of dangers by the media, many of you may have developed the subconscious belief to be in danger if too attractive. So, you attempt to destroy your great looks to get the illusion of safety. Obviously, not everyone develops this belief; but many women do, and you might be one of them.

If you are afraid of being attractive, you might get into an accident and harm your face and body so you will look unattractive, or you can gain weight. Gaining weight is really the easiest. You can easily gain forty pounds in a few months and lose your good looks. But once you’ve gained the extra weight, you will find it very hard to get rid of, especially if you think that it is the only way for you to be safe. These are important beliefs you need to look at.

Another reason why you may not want to be attractive is to protect yourself from unwanted sexual attention and abuse. You may feel safer if you’re unattractive because you perceive that no one will look at you or bother you and that any unwanted sexual attention will be minimized. Again, you use extra pounds to become less attractive and being overweight becomes a perceived form of protection.

Many years ago, during one episode of the former Oprah Winfrey show, Lisa Nichols, one of the teachers in the movie The Secret, admitted that she put on 100 pounds to protect herself from unwanted sexual attention she was getting from men.

If you believe that you need fat to be protected from unwanted sexual attention, you will have a hard time losing weight because subconsciously, you do not really want to.

In addition, if you have been physically abused, you most likely fear of being abused again, and look for a way to protect yourself. If you believe that fat protects you and decreases your risk of being abused, you will either block your weight loss or even gain weight to feel safer. You need to let go of this belief and believe instead that you are safe regardless of how much you weight. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to lose weight as you will not feel safe as you become thin.

Protection from Heartbreaks

Another reason why you may not want to be attractive is to protect yourself from heartbreaks and romantic relationships. Consciously, you want to have a romantic partner in your life, but in reality you often don’t want any of it because of your subconscious fears. You are afraid to be hurt and have your heart broken; you prefer to be alone and lonely, and feel safe. You are so afraid of being in a relationship that you would do anything to not attract a romantic partner into your life. Also, you are so afraid of intimacy, sex, and connecting with another person that you do not let anyone get too close to you.

One of the easiest ways to keep potential partners at a distance is by not looking your best. Often you are fat simply because you want to keep romantic partners away.

Protection from Poor Health, Sickness, and Starvation

Fat can also be perceived as a protection against poor health, sickness, and even starvation.

In certain cultures such as Asian and African cultures, there is still a perception today that thin people are sick and being fat is a sign of health. Even here in America, many people are afraid of becoming sick if they become too thin. You, too, may have this belief which could not be further from the truth as obesity is a major cause of death in America. This belief may have been in your ancestors’ minds hundreds of years ago and been passed on subconsciously or consciously from past generations to current generations.

Centuries ago, being fat meant survival. If you were fat, you would survive the winter when food became scarce. Today, things have changed. You need to realize that there is food everywhere around you, and it is not likely that you will starve before your next meal, unless you live in poverty. You have the fridge, the freezer, the supermarket next door, and a wide array of restaurants around you. However, if you still have the belief anchored in your subconscious that food could become scarce again, you need to be careful as storing fat becomes part of your survival process. So, you need to eliminate from your mind any subconscious beliefs or fears that food is scarce and that you need to stay fat to avoid starvation.

In conclusion, if you subconsciously believe that it is not safe to lose weight because fat protects you, you won’t be able to lose weight, regardless of the effort you put into trying. The more you lose weight, the less safe you feel, leading to anxiety and fear. Getting rid of these limiting, distorted beliefs is critical to your weight loss but also to your peace of mind and well-being.

The Fat No System can help you not only identify and clear your mental blocks to weight loss but also reduce or even eliminate your food cravings

Marylin Stompler is the creator of the Fat No More System available at

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